6:45 Arrive at school and all teachers are summoned into the auditorium at 7:10.
7:00 Hide in staff bathroom and kind of lose it before staff meeting.
7:10 Go to meeting where principal is awesome and sets a very good healing tone for the staff. Sit by a co-worker friend who makes me feel better.
7:25 Head to 1st period class full of doubt about how I'm going to be a rock when I can't really hold my own shit together.
7:30 Start class by talking about Serge and his passing and realize that the students are a blessing. Have all doubts about how I'll deal with this in front of them vanish because it's obvious that I will have their back and they will have mine. This class isn't even my class (I'm subbing during my prep period today) but they're part of the school community and they are good.
7:45 Let kids write about Serge if they choose to.
7:46 I write this.
9:03 Breathe. Second period with my students is great. They are kind and supportive of each other another. I'm going to allow a 15-30 minute opportunity to write about Serge in each of my classes today.
11:44 Breathe more. Halfway through my fourth period class and it isn't getting easier. Kids are sad everywhere I look and the day is a struggle. So far my classes have been wonderful. I've started out with talking about Serge and gone into how people react to death and that every reaction is fine and that people never know how they will react. This period I have freshmen and one student is particularly saddened. She can't stop crying so I took her down the counseling center where the district has assembled a team of ten counselors (and one therapy dog who is the best animal I've ever seen) so she could talk to people there. She didn't know Serge but she's crushed. I get it. I've told my kids that the fact that an 18 year old died is reason enough to be sad.
12:06 Get really sad again.
1:10 Welcome in my sixth period co-teacher who always makes me smile
1:40 Run out of stuff for the students to do because of being so distracted and exhausted from the world's longest and saddest day.
2:05 Embrace the ringing bell.
2:15 Go to staff meeting where principal talks about the day. Fight hard to keep eyes open as the three hours of sleep last night is catching up.
2:30 Go to the first day of softball practice and spend two hours blissfully unaware of any kind of suffering. A very welcome respite.
4:45 Drive home
5:00 Get home. Hug wife. Hug daughter.
5:15 Snuggle with daughter on couch while she watches cartoons and I sleep for 30 minutes.
6:00 Eat dinner made by wife. It is delicious.
7:00 Sit down to watch Blazer game while making a list of students I'm worried about. Will check on all of those students tomorrow.
8:30 Give daughter a bath. Get sprayed with water repeatedly. Laugh.
9:00 Put daughter down to sleep. Kiss wife. Finish blog. Sleep eventually.
Still can't read but I hope to tomorrow.